Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist.
At least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead?
Now I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I’m stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who’s teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator.
To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions and my attraction to a hotter than Satan’s underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous . . . it’s possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn’t on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I’m his, it’s easier said than done. Like THAT’S not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I’m some sort of Chosen One.
Holy Hell, if I’m in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.
Fashionably Dead is written in first person and if you have been reading my past posts you know it isn’t really my favorite point of view, but Robyn Peterman did a fantastic job. There was no head hopping and no confusing dialogue. Though the book was heavy on dialogue and profanity, it still managed to maintain its flare.
It was quirky, filled with humor of various kinds, and hilarious situations that had me cracking up and giggling like a fan girl for most of the book. The characters were interesting enough and contained a level of suspense that demanded to be uncovered for the exception of the main character who turned out to be extremely powerful at a rapid rate that it made it quite ridiculous. There were moments that seemed too easy for the protagonist to escape. Where is the suspense, the angst?
Halfway through the book I had to power through the rest, the constant mention of Jesus when the main character and her love interest were having sex got a little out of hand. I understood the meaning behind it, that the sex was amazing and that she felt like she was dying and seeing Jesus. But those two don’t go hand in hand for me. Still the sex scenes were juicy and plenty. And talk about the love the characters had for Prada.
If only the story hadn’t been packed to the brim with so much elements I would of enjoyed the book better. Talk about having demons, fairies, angels, vampyres, dixies, reincarnation, the works all thrown into a small pot and letting it boil over. The verbatim of what the character was thinking went up a notch to the point that you read the same thought three or four times in one page. Never have I been so disappointed to give a book a lower score than I had first thought it would get.
The book started off a 10/10 but slowly declined to only salvage itself towards the end. Overall, this is a very unique and interesting book I enjoyed discovering. Included was the first three chapters of the next book in the series and it piqued my interest yet again. But I think I will give this type of writing some space before I dive into it again.